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TALITHA KOUM

IMG_20181011_230333 TALITHA KOUM

“Talitha Koum”
She wanders around
and sees no one
“Talitha Koum!”
she heard those words,
repeatedly.
Repeatedly until tears
starts to form from her eyes,
repeatedly, until she felt so heavy
repeatedly, until it hurts so bad
and until she can’t hold those tears anymore
“Talitha Koum!”
The voice said again.
From that moment on,
excrutiating pain is hunting her, again.
Those were the words she keeps on reminding herself,
everyday,
to lessen the burden
but it seems to be the same words that gave her so much pain
“Talitha Koum!”
She’s tired.
She’s tired on hearing those words,
repeatedly.
She’s tired of being unhappy
Sadness that seems to be limitless
Sadness that keeps on coming back
“Talitha Koum!”
She wanders around again,
No one is there, still.
She just sat down
and just stare to nothingness.
“Talitha Koum!”
Those words were just so hurtful
for her
but its an eye opener
because it reminds her to let go,
Let go of all her insecurities,
anxieties
and demons
let go of her doubts
and what if’s
and agony of being alone
because she is not
It reminds her
to let go all the masks she used to wear.
“Talitha Koum!”
Nothing changes
It was just same old lies,
she told herself, everyday.
It was just same old words that
she heard.
“Talitha Koum!”
Again, she wanders around,
No one is there. still.
Little did she know,
It was her heart,
beating,
screaming,
and wishing to be free.
Then, she finally whispers, again,
“Little girl, arise… “

Jovi Mae L. Gabrentina

Fragile|Handle with CARE.

The concept of being “Marupok” is when an individual can easily fall or can easily feel attached to a person they like or even someone they don’t as long as they made sweet moves that can make someone feel “marupok”. According to Cabezudo (10/13/2018 Sat. night 10:30 pm) you are marupok in the sense na you’re too invested in that person to the extent that you would let him/her see you in your vulnerable state, therefore allowing him/her to know your weakness that may give him/her the power to break you (relevant na source, dahil aminado s’ya na marupok s’ya).
This became trend a month ago. A lot of netizens claimed that they are “marupok”. Mahihinuha rito na marami ang uhaw sa pag-ibig and it is just like a disease that keeps on spreading. I can say that teenagers and millennials are more likely proned with this, na almost lahat ay mga single, marami naman sila at bakit hindi nila maisipang sila-sila na lang. Jk.

Some symptoms of being marupok ay kapag you can’t contain the feelings when your crush did simple things towards you. Yiiiiiieeeee 💕. But the problem is, it doesn’t mean something for them, so you are umaasa lang sa mga bagay na wala namang kahulugan, you’re letting him/her see you in your vulnerable state, therefore allowing him/her to know your weakness that may give him/her the power to break you (Cabezudo, 2018). Being marupok is very similar to being “tanga”-you can’t choose whether to follow your brain or your heart?
You already know that nervous system is divided into 2 parts. The Central Nervous system – consisting of brain and the spinal cord at ang Peripheral nervous system consisting of sensory neurons(afferent) and motor neurons(efferent). Under motor neurons is the somatic nervous system including voluntary actions like when you walk or speak. and the autonomic nervous system kung saan nabibilang ang mga involuntary actions gaya nang pagbeat ng heart ayiiie 💕. Therefore, hindi maiiwasan ang mafall/ma-attach dahil kusa itong nagbi-beat and both are working under the same system (tho iba pa ang circulatory system) kaya’t para saakin you don’t have to choose between two, why bother when YOU CAN USE BOTH. It may be hard for some but it is still your choice.
But!! being marupok or in english, FRAGILE! ay nangangahulugang madaling mabasag, masira, bumigay o mabali kaya’t nangangailangan ng CARE! To prevent being marupok or fragile let me leave an advice.

Kailan nga ba ang tamang panahon to LOVE? I remembered maybe 3-5 years ago, basta matagal na, it was sunday, nagsimba kami ng family ko. ‘Di talaga ako nakikinig but the priest caught my attention nang sabihin n’yang (nvtm) the perfect time to love is when you have the ability to fill love towards another heart at ang perfect relationship is when both of you ay nagpapalitan ng pagmamahal. Ayon naman sa kaibigan kong si K,

“kapag sobra na ‘ko sa pagmamahal, makapagbibigay na ako” – K. Borjal, 2018

There may be no perfect time but there should be an OVERFLOWING LOVE inside your Heart. Imagine that you are looking for someone to love you with your heart having 74.85% of love, how would you fill his/her heart kung hindi 100% ang love na meron ka? And worst, what if both of you ay walang nag-uumapaw na PAG-IBIG?

Erika Joy C. Relucio

exanimationes incidamus

People around you will never understand your real pain though they are your friends or family, more so if they are just strangers. They cannot feel the struggles you’re going through. Upon confessing that you are distressed, you would be mocked instead of being encouraged because they often assume that you are only seeking for attention, too childish, or worse, just having a joke.

Those things are the reason why I am afraid to disclose my fragile emotions. I fear to be left because of my unfortunate condition. I always end the day stating that I am okay, though in reality, I am shattered in pieces. Why should I expose my weakness when no one is willing to hear my long sad story? Well, who the hell wants to?

Like other fellows who is on the same ground with me, they are expert on smiling despite being broken inside. Ordinary buddies would never comprehend our deep feelings. They fail to realize that we are not craving for your intense regard, but we just need someone to add colour to our dull life. A genuine love who is willing to go beyond what is seen by naked eye, and hear us crying,

“Help, please lend me a hand”

Sadly, no one seems to be sincere enough to reach us because apparently, living out of the comfort zone and involving one’s self to a huge problem are never a man’s priorities. How narcissistic are a lot of creatures nowadays!

Time will come when our temporary smiles would be permanent. And yes, no one would know because they choose to be blinded with what is really going on. Like cancer cells, our extreme sadness would mutilate and later on fill our poor sanity. Our lives would revolve solely to us, because we are destined to be alone, don’t we? We wouldn’t feel the presence of our loved ones anymore and such ache would kindle our negative thoughts as it kill our hopes. We are then aimless. No reason to continue furthermore. When that day come, the only thing that remain in us is our broken soul that demands to be gone soon.

I thought about ending my life for a number of times via various ways. During those situations, one question kept on bothering me. Would anybody remember me? Would they regret for being one of the reasons of my death? Would I be missed? I hope so. I hope they would. I hope they could take an action now before this thing inside my head does a tragic scene.

So please, give us a little of your concern because this depression might kill us soon.

– Joshua Oledan

Lost Dime

I was then alone in a piggy bank as lonesome as a ship which suddenly sunk. Pennies, nickels and dime which I was the same. Amidst the total darkness, you came. The first time I saw you, I was beguiled by you, we became more than friends but still less than lovers and we compromised that love is out of matter. To be here with me, saying goodbye was never and so my lonely world turned to a world of laughter of love, sharing and even lovely care. The world which I was the only one before became a loving home with an open door. But then, I secretly enraptured and decided to drift apart, what a painful feeling I had

lost

Days passed by since I left but our memories I still kept until someone told me you’re gone. What a foolish thing I’ve done

– Pimentel, Keruviel D.

Hanggang Kailan by Orange and Lemons (cover)

‘Hanggang Kailan’ is a song composed by the band called Orange and Lemons. The meaning of this song is a man, who is longingly waiting for someone, who doesn’t have the assurance of getting back their relationship.

This song- not only because it’s the only OPM song I’ve been playing on my phone- has touched my heart in some ways. It reminds me of my father whose working abroad. He comes home once a year, and stays for only a month. And after a 30-day of stay in our roof, he packed things up and leaves the country.

I’ve been missing my dad very often.

I remember when I was in Grade 7, first year of being a High School student, I motivate myself and aim for a higher honor in our class. I joined extracurricular activities, worked full time on my projects and assignments, and participated often in class. I ranked 2nd in our class. I just thought that it might make my dad be proud of me, and it did, but that doesn’t make him agree to attend the day of the recognition or awarding.

I got mad and forlorn at the same time, thinking of whys and hows. Then, I just gave up and just try to understand the situation. At least, at some point, I’ve given my dad something- happiness.

I know he won’t leave me, and that’s for sure. He might not be around when I wanted him to but I have the assurance that I’ll always be part of his heart even if he has gone and look for a woman to love. I just know that he will always be there, ready to reach out when I needed a word from him. I missed him a lot but I know that he’s near enough for to get frustrated and anxious.

I just know that he’ll always be there for me.

Even if I missed him.

Song by,

Orange and Lemons

Song Covered and Story Written by,

Mark Ryan Sumampong

The woman is angrily shouting over her phone for the event didn’t go as she planned. But no one knew that. For the people, she’s just “a woman on her monthly period”. The little boy keeps on turning around to look for his mother who left him. But no one knew that. For the people, he’s just “a kid seeking for attention”. The teenage girl wearing plaid long sleeves, black shirt, washed jeans and sneakers has her eyes closed because being in the middle of the crowd is her way of escaping the cruelty that creeps within the society. But no one knew that. For the people, she’s just a “dramatic tomboy.”

The girl on the other side of the street is crying not because she got her heart broken by some guy, but because she got failing remarks and is afraid of what her parents will say. But no one knew that. For the people, she’s just a “heartbroken slut”. The student who’s 30 minutes late in his midterm exam walks casually past her because he no longer cares about the education system ever since it started to become a competition of digits. But no one knew that. For the people, he’s just a “bad and careless college boy”. The woman who looks like in her 50’s but is actually in her 30’s is running towards the city hall to seek help for the hospital bills of her sick child. But no one knew that. For the people, she’s just a “cadaverous old woman.”

We think we know, but we don’t. We think we understand, but we also don’t. Everyone has his or her own set of problems and it’s just a matter of who hides it best. And if you can’t hide it, it’s fine. If you can no longer hold back the tears, it’s fine. If you can’t keep it any longer, it’s fine. Not being fine is still fine. You don’t have to stifle your cries and whimpers just to show the world that you are strong. Because the truth is this: Crying isn’t a sign of weakness; in actuality, it is a sign of strength, for you are allowing the world to see you in your vulnerable state — and that takes a lot of courage.

The inked man who’s being eyed by some people due to his enormous tattoos is listening intently to the music blasting from his earphones — TWICE’s Ooh Ahh — for the softness of the song helps him calm down. But no one knew that. For the people, he’s just a “delinquent goon”. The boy with the guitar is singing wholeheartedly because he wants the world to hear the voice he silenced for so long due to his lack of confidence and belief in himself. But no one knew that. For the people, he’s just an “internet sensation wannabe”. And you. You keep on smiling and motivating others, acting like you’re “okay” and everything’s “okay” and only want others to also be “okay”. You try so hard to appear as a person who enjoys living; but deep inside, you’re dying.

And no one knows that.

Cabezudo, Francia Joy B.

Student Artist

Bahay — Klase — Theater

Maging estudyante ay mahirap. Paano pa kaya kung dadagdagan pa natin. Estudyante na, nagta-teatro pa.

July 2017 ay sinubukan kong mag audition sa Sining-Lahi Polyrepertory dahil isa sa mga pinapangarap ko ay ang maging isang Theatre Actress. Noong una talaga ay nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung tutuloy pa ba ako o hindi dahil mahiyain ako nung una. Pero dahil sa pagpupumilit sa akin ng aking kaklase na si Genesisah na tumuloy at subukan mag-audition, tumuloy na ako.

After audition, sabi ko noon na ayos lang kung hindi ako matatanggap, ang mahalaga naranasan ko at ‘yon ay isa ng malaking biyaya para sa akin. Pero pag-uwi ko galing audition nakatanggap ako ng text mula sa Polyrep at sabi nila ako raw ay pumasa. Kaya wala ng atrasan pa at ako ay nagtuloy-tuloy na

August 8, 2017 ay opisyal na kaming tinalaga bilang apprentice ng Sining-Lahi Polyrepertoy. Sa unang araw pa lang ay marami ng pasabog sala kung sala bidahan kung bidahan.

Pero pagdaan ng mga araw mas lalong bumibigat at mga gawain. Lalo na isa rin naman akong estudyante. Ang hirap hatiin ng oras. Oras para sa paper worka sa acads at oras para sa rehearsal at workshop kaya habang tumatagal ay nahihirapan na akong pagsabayin ang pag-aaral at pagte-teatro.

May mga oras na kakauwi na ako ng 1am at kinabukasan ay may pasok pa ako ng 7:30am. May mga oras pa na pinapalayas na ako sa bahay dahil nga lagi akong wala para akong nagdo-dorm kang sa bahay dahil kakain, matutulog tapos aalis na ulit ako. Noong una ay naisipan kong sumuko bitawan ang pagtateatro pero kada gagawa ko ng hakbang papalayo sa pagte-teatro ay sobra akong nasasaktan. Hindi ko kaya. Sobra ko kasing minahal ito eh kaya hirap na hirap ako umalis.

Sabi ko noon na nagsisisi ako na pumasok ako dito. Dahil kung di ako pumasok, malamang sa malamang ay hindi ako mahihirapan umalis.

Pero hindi. Napagtanto ko na mahal ko naman ang ginagawa ko kaya dapat wala akong pagsisihan. Mahal ko ang pagtatanghal sa teatro. Sobra.

Ang pagiging estudyante ay hindi madali lalo na’t kung isa ka pang estudyante at nagtatanghal sa teatro. Nakakabaliw, nakakapagod, nakakapanghina at nakakapangit. Pero kung mahal mo ang ginagawa mo, bakit ka susuko? Sabi nga ng Training Director namin, “Paano kapag dumating yung panahon na hindi kana pagod? Pero sumuko kana? Wala ka ng kasiguraduhan na makakabalik ka pa ba sa mga bagay na sinukuan mo na. Maaari kang mapagod. At least alam mong tao ka. Maaari kang magpahinga basta alam mo kung paano bumalik.”

Ilaban mo kung alam mong kaya pang ilaban. Normal ang mapagod at masaktan. Pero hindi normal ang sumuko.

Borito, Jovelyn S.

Response: Pagsusumamo Para sa Kinalimutang Kislap ng Perlas ng Silangan

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Tahanan, Kulungan

Kulungan, Tahanan

Ang mamatay ng dahil sayo… mga salitang binibigkas natin bago matapos ang ating pambansang awit. Awiting sumasagisag sa mga dakila na walang sawang ipinagtanggol ang Pilipinas…

Ika labing tatlong araw ng Oktubre taong 2018 sa Tanghalang PUP sakop ng Kolehiyo ng Komunikasyon sa kalye ng Anonas, Santa Mesa, Manila, nagkaroon ng pagaalay ng dasal sa mga nabiktima ng Oplan Tokhang. Naganap ang isang dulang tumatalakay sa mga mapangabusong pulis at opisyal. Sa mga taong namatay dahil sa War on Drugs. Natalakay din sa dula ang ginagawang tanim droga ng mga pulisya. Drug addict, Drug Pusher at mga inosenteng tao ay namamatay dahil dito. Mga batang nagtsotongke pinatay, mga kabataang nagshashabu pinatay, mga saleslady pauwi galing ng trabaho pinatay, mga lalakeng naglalakad pinatay, matapos ay lalagyan ng baril sa kamay at sasabihin nanlaban.

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Nakakatuliro, nakakabaliw! Sino nga bang hindi mababaliw sa nangyayari sa bansa natin? Sinong magagalak na makita ang walang tigil na patayan sa ating bayan? Konting kilos! Konting kibot! May nakatutok na baril sa iyong sentido. Tila ba nakukulong tayo sa sarili nating tahanan, sa sarili nating bayan. Patayan, barilan, away, kaguluhan, patayan, barilan, away, kaguluhan! Paulit ulit! Paulit ulit!

Politiko, kapangyarihan, karangyaan, at pag angat sa nakararami ang gusto ng bawat isa sa atin. Nagiging sakim at makasarili ng ating kababayan para lang sa mga bagay na ito. Handang pumatay ng tao para lamang sa kasikatan, at kapangyarihan!

Hindi natin kailangan may panigan sa iba’t ibang partido. Maski ako wala akong nakikitang dapat panigan. Dahil alam mo, at alam kong lahat ng mga ‘yan ay may tinatagong baho’t anumalya! Pula man o puti, dilawan man o kahit anong kulay ka pa mas mainam at mahalaga pa rin ang pagmamahal sa ating bayan. Tayo ay magtulungan upang makalaya tayo sa sarili nating tahanan.

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… Pilipinas- tinaguriang perlas ng silangan. Perlas ng silangan na nakalimutan na ng marami sa ating mga kababayan. Kababayan nating nagsusumamo at sumisigaw ng tunay na kalayaan. Kalayaan na di natin makamtan sapagkat sarili nating pinuno ang dahilan ng ating pagkabilanggo. Bilanggo- mga nasa likod ng rehas na hindi lahat ay may kasalanan. Kasalanang naibintang sa kanila na hindi naman nila magagawa. Ngunit sino ang gumawa? Mga may matataas na tungkulin at kapangyarihan. Kapangyrihang gustong makamit ng nakararami. Nakararaming handang pumatay makamtan lamang ang kasikatan at kapangyarihan. Gahaman!

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Sa mga pamilya ko sa sining at bumubuo ng Sining Lahi Polyrepertory, pag galang at pagpupugay sa matapang niyong pag pasok sa usaping ito. Padayon! Ako’y walang sawang papalakpak sa mga natamo at matatamo niyo pang tagumpay.

Ikaw na nagbabasa ngayon, nawa ay maging instrumento ka upang mabago ang takbo ng tadhana, ng ating inang bayan. May mga nabubulag at nagbubulag bulagan. May mga bingi at nag bibingi bingihan. May mga tulog at nagtutulug tulugan. Kaya kung ikaw ay gising na, nawa’y wag ka ng pumikit pa. Kung ikaw ay nakarinig na, sana ay sabihin mo ang iyong nalaman. Kung ikaw ay nakakita na, tulungan mo kami na mulatin ang iba pa.

Medina, Allyssa Mae G.

Metathesiophobia

(Listen while you read)

My friend once told me her story about having a fear of making changes.

“When I was a kid, I used to pretend that I was hurt physically to get the attention of my parents. I loved how they care for me and how they would hug me so that my broken pieces would go back together. I loved how we would sing nursery rhymes in the car to cheer up a long, boring road trip. I loved how they would cuddle me to sleep and give me lots of things that I could hug like teddy bears that you once believe, “fight the monsters under your bed”. I used to brag to my friends how lucky I am with my family who “cares” for me; but as time passes by, things began to change.

I have this thing called metathesiophobia. It’s the fear of sudden change. I was distraught that things would change because of my actions and that they wouldn’t bear the old, good memories I had in the past. I was anxious that when the world change, I would be left out and that I wouldn’t be able to adjust anymore. And that’s when over thinking kicks in, and as some says,

“Monsters don’t sleep under your bed; They sleep inside your head”.

When you grow older, they expect you to be more independent and that they wouldn’t care anymore where it hurts, physically or worst, emotionally. You could only cry yourself to sleep or smile to avoid countless questions from the people who pretend to care. You began to build this castle like walls around your heart with a door to shut every one out. You began to grow cold so that no one can hurt you anymore. They say it’s part of “growing up”; but is this what we really wanted?

To tell you honestly, I want somebody to tell me that it’s okay not to be okay. I want them to destroy the walls I kept on building and pull me out of my comfort zone. I want somebody to notice that behind my smiles, I’m broken and torn to puzzle pieces. I want somebody to make me feel I’m not alone. I kept on wishing for things that I believe, “I do not have”. That’s when I realize that I was wrong all along.“

We kept on building walls, blaming our pasts, blaming our mood swings, and blaming our phobias that we lost track of whom we really are and that somebody cares for us. It may seem that our parents blabber nonsense when we get home late and that we feel that our freedom is being taken away. But slap yourself and wake up to reality, they care about you and you’re that one taking them for granted. Have you ever asked them where it hurts? Or have you been a good child? If no, then how can you say they don’t care about you?

Everybody’s hurt somewhere in their hearts. Everybody needs company. Everybody feels lonely, but it’s part of life. Misunderstandings should be talked over instead of avoidance. You feel empty? Then make some friends and socialize. You feel unwanted? Then make the best out of your life that you’ll be needed by everyone. You’re stuck in the darkness? Then stand up, go out of your room, and see some sunlight. The world isn’t going to adjust for you. It may not be me or it may not be someone you expect, but somebody out there cares for you.

–

Karla Plazuela
&
Gabriel Adraque

Time Machine

If I were given a chance to go back in the past, I will not be so easy to you. I will not be the one who will make a first move, will not push my self to the person whose in the first place didn’t see my existence and the beauty I wear everyday just to caught your attention.

If I can go back in time which I had given a chance to see my own worth which you can’t never give values for that, I will choose a man whose really see my sincerity, kind of beauty inside and out, my worth as a women and loves me at my worst. In short I will choose a better man than you, who will gives a lot of happiness instead of pain, who will understands me when no one’s did and the most of all who will give courage in everytime I feel down.

If I only have chance to chose my path, I will not choose you who causes me a lot of pain, who doesn’t give importance of my value as a person or women, who doesn’t value the time I spent to you just to be with you, and only you can see is my mistakes, you always wanted to be like that..instead of motivating me you are the first one who letting me down. Sometimes I don’t know If you’re still the man I’ve decided to chose because every each of the day it becomes worst..We should be happy together but why we let things to be like this..that each of us choose to stay because of the experience, memories, years we had together. But I realized I was wrong, wrong for choosing the right man who can bring out the best of me which I will not be conscious when I’m with him..May be God has a better plan that’s why He let things happened.

But If I only have time machine..I will not let this happen, I become more wiser for choosing the right man. If only have one chance, I will give my heart to the better one.

Solinap, Zabrian G.

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